College Students and Homesickness

How to Adjust to Freshman Year, Dorm Life, and Moving Away From Home

Many college students feel homesick. - Stock Xchange: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/620325
Many college students feel homesick. - Stock Xchange: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/620325
Does leaving home for the first time feel like a little more than you can handle? Here are some tips to help you deal with homesickness.

Starting your freshman year of college can be very exciting, but once Mom and Dad drive away, many students feel overwhelmed and homesick. At the same time that students are confronted with academic and social challenges, the support system they have known their whole lives is under a different roof.

What's the best way to deal with homesickness? Here are some ideas.

  • Allow yourself to feel homesick. Some students may not want to admit how much they miss home. They may perceive their feelings as immature and get angry at themselves. If you feel homesick, give yourself a break and understand that your feelings are normal and not immature. No matter how old people get, major life changes are traumatic, and you are going through a major life change.
  • Keep busy. Throw yourself into college life and you'll find yourself missing home less. Finding things to keep you busy won't be hard to do! Take part in freshman orientation week activities. Get off to a good start in your classes. Find out what kinds of student activities are available and attend some meetings.
  • Make friends. College campuses can be very lonely places if you don't know anyone. It may take awhile for you to meet people you truly bond with, but in the meantime, make an effort to get to know as many people as you can. Take the time to explore campus activities until you find one that clicks.
  • Get off to a good start with your roommate. You don't have to be best friends, but you'll feel a whole lot more at home in your room if you two get along. Here are some helpful college roommate etiquette tips and a college roommate survival guide.
  • Communicate (in moderation) with your family. Your family hasn't left your life. Call and email them and talk about how you are feeling. Remember, being a parent of a college freshman can be an emotionally difficult experience as well. At the same time, though, don't use your family as a crutch. Keep in touch, but you need to move in with your new life as well. A visit home can help with homesickness, but don't go home too often or you will have trouble integrating into your new life.
  • Talk to your residence assistance. Every dorm floor has a student in charge who can help students get adjusted to college. If you feel overwhelmed, stop by for a chat.
  • If needed, talk to a counselor. If homesickness is making it difficult for you to function in college, or if you are suffering from depression, take advantage of the mental health facilities on your campus. Homesickness is a very common problem, and college counselors know how to help.
  • Decorate. If your room is cozy and comfortable, it will feel more like home. Here are some dorm room decorating ideas and a college dorm room decorating guide.
  • Avoid rash decisions. When people are depressed or overwhelmed, they sometimes make big decisions that are unwise. This is not the time to drop out, transfer to a different school, end a long term relationship, or anything else of major consequence. Wait until you are feeling better before you make life changing decisions.
  • Give yourself time. It may take a semester or even more before you stop feeling homesick. It takes time to adjust to major life changes like this one. Hang in there!
Naomi Rockler-Gladen, Daniel Gladen

Naomi Rockler-Gladen - Instructional designer and freelance writer, Naomi Rockler-Gladen writes some of Suite101's most read work.

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30 Comments

Comments

Aug 12, 2009 5:41 PM
Guest :
:'(
Aug 23, 2009 5:30 PM
Guest :
homesickness sucks!!
Aug 25, 2009 4:08 PM
Guest :
it really sucks im trying to get involved tho
Aug 20, 2010 5:40 AM
Guest :
I feel like I am unworthy for college because I feel this way!
Aug 24, 2010 9:42 AM
Guest :
I'm freakin out
Aug 25, 2010 7:27 PM
Guest :
I'm leaving for college tomorrow and my parents just said goodnight and said that this is the last time they will be able to hug me goodnight until thanksgiving. It really hit me that I wont be seeing them as much. I know I'll have fun in college and stuff but I love being at home and with my family. Tomorrow when they say goodbye I'm just going to burst into tears like a little baby. I know it. :(
Aug 25, 2010 9:03 PM
Guest :
my roomate is an unfriendly person who has all of his buddies from high school with him. It is very lonesome for me. Dorm life sucks at this point because you dont have your own place you can call home like you would have if you were renting your own apartment.
Aug 26, 2010 7:13 PM
Guest :
my first roommates were slobs. one has a very loud and irritating phone voice and he's on the phone all the time. he also keeps on borrowing stuff and asking questions for his homework. they did more and more bad and annoying stuff. i can't take it anymore so i moved out and paid for a more expensive two-person room. my roommate now is working the graveyard shift in a call center. so when he's out, i'm in and vice versa. we get along well.

what makes me homesick the most is the language. they have a different dialect here than the one we have at home. it's really hard to make friends because of that.

at first i cried everyday for a month until my parents got tired of it. so i forced myself not to cry. now it's our foundation week so i went home (my school is one plane ride and a 45hr trip from my hometown). i'm going back on monday and i'm really worried about being homesick again. : (
Aug 28, 2010 3:24 PM
Guest :
I really needed this. I have been crying for a solid 24 hours and I feel like I'm the only one. I'm only 90 min from home but it feels like 3000 miles when your family isn't here.
Aug 29, 2010 9:46 AM
Guest :
My girlfriend of about 6 months dumped me after like 5 days of being away at college. For no reason. My transition is shit. I'm 18 hours from home also.
Aug 29, 2010 12:22 PM
Guest :
I'm definitely homesick. And to the person who said they were only 90 minutes from home, I'm only 35 and I'm still sitting on the floor of my new dorm room with the door closed as I sob. I hate feeling this way, but I think for me the actually being away from home part isn't as bad as realizing that my previous relationship with my parents has changed, and from here on in will never be the same. I'm (legally, anyway) an adult now.
I don't live under my parents roof and they aren't in charge of disciplining me or talking to the school when I have problems. It's all up to me now. Going home won't really be 'going home' because it's no longer my sole home. I live *here* now, in a tiny bedroom with gross looking curtains and a footprint on my window. Ugh, growing up is so over-rated.
Aug 29, 2010 6:45 PM
Guest :
I had to move in a week early for band camp. My residence hall is nearly empty. That makes it SO hard
Aug 30, 2010 8:34 PM
Guest :
Ahh, I'm homesick as well. I'm in New York and I come from San Francisco. Its hard making friends here because my dorm building usually only houses third years or above and my roommate just likes to go out at night with her friends. I sure hope things get better. I'm going try to stick it through this year.
Aug 31, 2010 7:29 AM
Guest :
Thank you for this article. It does me wonders to just know that other people are going through the same type of stuff that I am. It's my second full day here in the campus, and I still feel homesick, but it's getting less and less miserable.
Sep 2, 2010 12:41 PM
Guest :
It is nice to know I am not alone. This is probably the toughest thing I have ever done. I made some new friends and do the activities but the second I come back to this room I start crying. I feel like everyone here is friends and I am the outcast. This is so hard. My boyfriend and parent have to deal with my tears on the phone and that is not fair to them. I have only been here for a week and I am going home this weekend. I am not sure if that is the best decision, but it is all I can do.....it is going to be extremely difficult to come back.....please say this gets better.
Sep 3, 2010 10:19 AM
Guest :
glad im not the only one.......but even though...im worried....my girl and i have decided to do this long distance stuff.....and i really love her....but i know for a fact that stayin in touch is a major issue...due to the large gap in time zone and stuff....uni life sucks......even worse if your in india.....place is like a prison.....and i honestly have a feeling i will never get used to it......i pray that things get better....and that this pain in my chest goes away.....i know i am homesick.....just depressed right now....
Sep 4, 2010 2:46 PM
Guest :
I completely understand this feeling. I'm going to college three hours away, and I've never been away from home for longer than a week. I moved in about ten days ago, and I have cried every day since. I'm actually home right now, and I'm a wreck because I know our time together will be over soon, and I'll have to go back.

This article struck a chord with me, because I really don't want to go back. I want to drop out and just stay home and take online courses. But I also know that if I withdraw now, I will always wonder 'what if?' and I'll call myself a quitter. I just don't want to deal with this heartbreak anymore.
Sep 4, 2010 5:23 PM
Guest :
Any other advice, I am having a really hard time dealing with this?!?
Sep 5, 2010 5:01 AM
Guest :
Seeing that everyone is feeling the same way as me gives me piece of mind... I am 7 hrs away & to get back it's $300 so I know I won't see my family for a while... I have not cried aside from saying goodbye at the airport... Haven't got a good night sleep either... But one person I met here made me feel better.. He told me "A person who can leave a place they've always known & go to a place they've never been & still succeed is a strong person"
Sep 6, 2010 11:09 AM
Guest :
I know exactly what everyone is feeling right now. I want to be strong, but all i want to to do is talk to my family. My family and I are super close and it kills me to know that I can't wake up and see them every morning. I miss them so much. It is helpful to know that other people are feeling the same way, because it feels like i am so alone right now...
Sep 9, 2010 4:12 PM
Guest :
i am only 35 mins away and it is good to know that other people feel this way. i am close with my family and call them so much sobbing and saying i wanna come home. my campus is a real commuter campus so everyone that i have met are commuters which is makeing it even harder because i feel i am the only one liveing in res
Sep 18, 2010 12:05 PM
Guest :
I know how this feels. I'm from the UK (London, in the south-east), and I went to University last year in Leeds (in the north of England, about 4 hours away from London), got real homesick and dropped out. I was lucky enough to find a job so worked for a year and have come to University in Cardiff (3 hours west of London, in Wales) this year.

I felt really upset when my mother and bro dropped me off here at the student residences, and went home, because I know that life isn't going to be the same as it was and that this is something I have to get used to. I've already dropped out of university once; I can't do that again. We've all got to make this work and realise that we're really lucky to be able to get a degree. I just know this will get better and I will love it here soon.
Sep 22, 2010 8:06 PM
Guest :
almost 2 hours from home.. ive been crying everyday and im a guy :/ i miss my family, my friends, my girl... im sobbing up as i type this..
Sep 24, 2010 9:44 AM
Guest :
I'm the type of guy that sucks it up and keeps his emotions to himself regardless of whether or not I'm happy or sad. With the exception of my friends, most people can only assume how I feel at any given point in time. Right now, I'm in U of O and I'm from New Jersey. I'm 3000 miles away from friends that I FINALLY made at the end of my senior year in high school.
This helps a little bit, but the fear remains that I'll lose touch since people have basically abandoned me in the past. But I love them and they've shown to care about me so I'll be alright.
This list does help to some degree and I recommend to everyone else to read through it but most importantly, hammer the first two or three weeks out. I'm in Army ROTC and am contracted, so as a freshman, I'm going into the Army after college, I'm 3000 miles away from my friends, and I have NO FRIENDS OUT HERE!!!
So what I'm doing is digging in for the first two weeks to get a feel for what it's like to really be away from home. I recommend everyone do the same and just...watch how things are around your area. Keep your grades up as best as you can as they are the primary objective, but get a feel for the place and try to have fun. If you don't have fun, it'll turn from bad to worse. And you don't want to be miserable for the first four years.
Sep 25, 2010 8:05 PM
Guest :
Hang in there sweet people your family loves and misses you like mad .Try to get involved so you are busy then tired .It will pass and you will be the wonderful adult you were meant to be Hugging all the homesick kids
Oct 3, 2010 3:21 PM
Guest :
After reading this its comforting knowing that I'm not the only one going through this. I moved to Utah from Hawaii for school. I have no family or friends in UT and its really hard. It's my first year of college and my room mate is a really cool guy but he's part of a frat and he is always out and about. Its only been a month since I've been here and I'm really thinking about giving up and going back to Hawaii. It's hard having my family and friends I've known my whole entire life so far away from me. I seriously don't have any friends here and its really depressing, I still call my parents and cry to them (yes I'm a dude but I'm also human and we all cry) It just seems overwhelming for one person to go through, I knew starting all over with making new friends and experiencing new things was going to be tough, but I honestly did not realize it was this tough. This is by far the hardest thing I ever had to do. I know when we're faced with difficult things we either run from it or face it, but it just seems so hard to face alone with out family or friends..I really don't know if I should run back to Hawaii because I don't want to live with regret..
Oct 6, 2010 11:04 AM
Guest :
I am a Mom who misses her oldest daughter terribly... I try to be tough and tell her things will get better because I know they will. When I went through this I got a job at a local pub/grill and made tons of new friends. The money was great as a waitress, and I have stayed in contact with my coworkers for more than 25 years. Staying busy is the key! Hugs to you all, and whatever happens keep the finish line in sight! You're not alone!!!
Oct 13, 2010 4:29 PM
Guest :
This is really hard, but I'm praying to get through it because I'm really missing my loved ones back home
Mar 12, 2011 3:49 PM
Guest :
I noe how it feels like wen ur homesick..:(
I was also in a hostle last year,hate being away frm mah loved once ,it reali gave me alot of stress,glad im no longer in hostle tis year..im stayin off wif mah parents :)
May 15, 2011 5:45 AM
Guest :
This is a great article. I was studying in Malaysia for the first year and I visited my family during holidays and now I dont feel like going back. :( It hurts, but I realized that if we are to succeed in this world, we need some time apart to focus on what we have to do.

But our loving family always waits for us no matter what. And sooner before you realize the four years will pass swiftly, and you will gain tons of friends and a valuable education. Education matters most. Cheers everyone! :)
30 Comments
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