How much should you spend on a diamond engagement ring? Ask anyone in the bridal industry and they'll give you the "correct" answer: three months salary. Of course, a decade ago, they were only asking for two months salary, but who's counting? The De Beers Company, the largest distributor of diamonds in the world, has persuaded us that a marriage just isn't the same without that big piece of diamond jewelry on a woman's left hand.
But what do you think? Is an expensive ring a purchase that feels meaningful and romantic? If it is, then go for it. There's no shortage of jewelry dealers out there eager to show you the latest in round, oval, and princess cut diamonds. However, if this seems like a wasteful and shallow gesture, then consider another alternative. The diamond engagement ring may be traditional, but these days, couples are bucking wedding traditions in all kinds of ways.
Here are some thoughts on whether to spend three months salary (or whatever) on a ring.
Reasons to Buy an Expensive Diamond Engagement Ring
- For many women, a gorgeous ring will make them ecstatic. For the rest of her life, she can look down at her finger and remember how delighted she was to see that beautiful ring.
- Many women will be very disappointed if they don't get that beautiful ring. The marriage fairy tale is programmed into women's brains from an early age, and part of the fairy tale is the diamond.
- Romance aside, a diamond is a high quality and beautiful product that is difficult to damage. With proper care, the diamond ring will stay beautiful for a lifetime.
- Quality diamond engagement rings can last for generations. The ring can become a family heirloom that your great grandson can use to propose to the girl of his dreams.
- It's tradition. For some people, tradition is very important, whether it's the woman taking the husband's name, the father walking the daughter down the aisle, or proposing with a diamond engagement ring. Failure to follow tradition may result in disapproval from family and friends.
- The ring symbolizes an investment in your future together. Three months salary is a sacrifice that grooms are willing to make to symbolize a commitment they will not break.
Reasons Not to Buy an Expensive Diamond Engagement Ring
- Three months salary is an awful lot of money. A newly married couple needs money for things like a mortgage, car payments, student loans, and wedding expenses. And don't forget the added expense of engagement ring insurance.
- The De Beers Company, and diamond mining in general, has been plagued by scandal. Human rights groups have accused the industry of mining and purchasing diamonds under very questionable circumstances. If this concerns you, do some research into the diamond industry before you support it with three months of your salary.
- Consumerism is out of control in the world today. The expectations of what we need to spend to be happy have been pumped up by marketers for years. Do you want the diamond industry and the bridal industry to tell you what you need to spend on your engagement ring?
- Some brides prefer a stone that is unique and perhaps has personal significance. Couples are personalizing their weddings in all kinds of ways, from writing their own vows to purchasing unique wedding favors, so why not buy a special ring? Other couples prefer to use an heirloom ring from their families.
- Some couples reject the idea of an engagement ring altogether because they feel it promotes patriarchy and a sense of ownership of the woman.
Naomi Rockler-Gladen - Instructional designer and freelance writer, Naomi Rockler-Gladen writes some of Suite101's most read work.
