For some recent high school graduates and their families, the best college living arrangement is for a student to become a commuter student and continue to live at home for all or part of college. This can save a student and the family quite a bit of money, and for some students, leaving home right out of high school just isn't the right choice.
So do commuter students and their parents run into conflict? Of course. Although this certainly is an easier situation for some students and parents, every family is likely to need a period of adjustment and some serious conversations about expectations and responsibilities.
Here are some considerations that parents and college commuters should make to help accommodate their new living situation.
College Commuter Student Study Skills and Success
Starting college is always a major challenge for students, even if their living arrangements aren't going to change. Parents and students all need to be aware that college academics are more demanding than high school academics. Parents can help students understand that even though they still live in the same place, have the same friends, and otherwise have a life that isn't all that different than before, students are going to have to spend a significant amount more time studying.
One important way that parents can help is to make sure students have a quiet, dedicated place to do work, and that all family members respect the student's need to work quietly without interruptions. It's also important that parents don't add excessively to a student's schedule through family obligations.
One problem that college commuters often face is a sense of isolation from the college campus. Parents can encourage students to get involved in campus organizations and to spend time getting to know new people. In addition to helping students feel less isolated, this connection to a college campus helps to motivate many students to excel academically.
College Students and Parents: Changing Expectations
Now that a high school student is a college student, and technically adult, what changes, and what stays the same? This can be a tricky issue, and to resolve conflicts that are likely to ensure, parents and students need to be mutually respectful. One the one hand, students absolutely need to understand that they are still living in their parents home and need to respect rules. On the other hand, parents need to respect that students are adults now, and that less restrictive rules may be necessary.
Here are just a few house rules that parents and students may need to revisit:
- Curfews
- Chores
- Guests (including overnight guests)
- Family obligations
- Obligations to younger siblings
- Time spent away from the home, for school obligations, work, or otherwise
In addition, parents and students need to have a serious talk about financial expectations. Now that the student is an adult, who pays for what? Tuition? Books? Clothes? Car expenses, especially those related to commuting? Moreover, are students going to be asked to pitch in financially?
Having a college student living at home is not necessarily a difficult situation, but it's certainly one that requires parents and students to communicate with each other about needs and expectations. To maximize the benefits and minimize the disadvantages of this situation, sit down and talk with one another before the school year begins.
Naomi Rockler-Gladen - Instructional designer and freelance writer, Naomi Rockler-Gladen writes some of Suite101's most read work.
